Rocket Man rose to power on the coattails of his father, and his grandfather before him. And while watching through his binocs as his latest ICBM launches and falls into the Sea of Japan with an audible plop, his people fearful and thin and applauding, grimaces of a smile, like his array of generals and general sycophants, all the while, what he wants, not a meeting with Trump, not a meeting with Moon Jae-in, he wants what every man in his outrageously right mind wants. A nuclear fucking arsenal. What I wouldn’t give right now for a nuclear arsenal. All my competitors, you know those other lame t-shirt sites you pretend you don’t buy from? Gone. Poof. It would be a great day in the Tshirt Terrorist Empire with myself, the New Rocket Man, as it’s supreme leader and I would lower the binocs, kill a quick general or two, have a parade, look handsome and then fire up Steam and play Fallout 76 until the cows came home/ to roost.

Hang on. There are a few mixed metaphors there. Or you know what I mean. Those things. It’s OK, it’s a Tshirt Terrorist T-shirt, everything is going to be OK. In the end. And by end I mean End.

– 100% soft combed cotton tee (160gsm).
– Brand fitted, individually styled.
– Enzyme washed, for a super-soft finish.
– Screen printed, for durability and longevity.
– Made in South Africa – proudly.